The Feeling of Home During the Holidays: Curating a Meaningful Season
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It’s a feeling.
For me, it usually hits right after Halloween. The calendar starts filling — school dress-up days, gift exchanges, recitals, parties, shopping lists that seem to grow overnight. I can feel it all coming, fast and full, long before the season officially starts.
It’s rarely about weather for us (it’s almost always hot here), though I still get unreasonably excited when there’s the slightest nip in the air. It’s more about the shift — the sense that the world is speeding up, and I need to stay grounded through it.
Every year, I remind myself that we don’t have to surrender to the rush. We can shape the holidays differently — with intention, calm, and meaning that actually lasts.
In this post, I’m sharing how I try to do just that: a mix of reflections, small shifts, and real-life strategies that might help you own your holiday season instead of being owned by it.
Because “home” looks different for everyone. For some, it’s joy and anticipation. For others, it’s heavy… full of old stories or people we miss. I always want to hold space for both. The holidays can be beautiful, but they can also be tender. Sometimes they’re both at once.
A Season That Holds Both Joy and Tenderness
When my brother died in September 2020, the holidays were the last thing on my mind. I didn’t want to decorate; I didn’t want to pretend. But I also had four little ones, and somewhere underneath the grief, I felt this pulse of gratitude. Gratitude for family, for health, for everything I had shared with my brother. Above all… gratitude for the chance to still make something meaningful out of what hurt.
So that year, for Thanksgiving, we made an activity of it. We wrote things we were grateful for on strips of cardstock (color-coordinated, of course) and turned them into a paper chain. We wrapped it around our dining window, and then it became part of our Christmas décor.
It was this small, stubborn reminder that meaning can exist even when things feel broken. Sometimes that’s all we can hold on to, and it’s enough.
Doing the Holidays Your Way
I avoided Elf on the Shelf forever. For years, I just couldn’t bring myself to take on another to-do. Then one showed up as a gift, and last year I gave in. I ended up having fun with it, but only because I knew my limits. I even bought one of those little kits on Amazon, which helped me plan ahead. I didn’t use it all; I just did what worked and sparked creativity, when I was up for it.
If that’s your thing, great. Go for it. But if it’s not, let it go. You don’t owe anyone a “perfect” holiday.
A friend of mine told me baking with her kids stresses her out. She’s not the “unbothered in chaos” type, so she skips the cookies and does crafts instead. That’s her rhythm, and it works.
Maybe for you it’s one or two “signature” things — a special meal, a drive to see lights, a day spent helping out in the community, or a holiday playlist that marks the season — and that’s enough.
The Trap of Comparison
Social media can make it seem like we should all be everything: the woman who bakes, the one who decorates, the one who plans a dozen magical outings, the one whose wrapping paper matches her tree.
But we’re not meant to be all things. Maybe you’re the mom who loves baking but couldn’t care less about décor. Maybe you’re the one who plans every outdoor holiday event but forgets to schedule a single movie night. We all have different strengths, and that’s okay.
Of course, design and intentional spaces are part of my world, so I bring that into our holidays because it fills me. But if that’s not you — if decorating feels stressful or you think you “suck at it” — maybe you outsource it. Or maybe you just focus on one corner, one room, one thing that feels right. The point is to do what you can, and know it’s enough.
More inspiration…less critique!
And sometimes, seeing another woman choose not to do something — to say “this doesn’t bring me joy” — is the permission you need to pass, too.
We all have obligations to the people we love, but it’s about looking inward and finding the balance. What can I commit to because I want to, or because it truly matters to those closest to me, without losing myself (or the season, frankly) in the process?
✨ Busy can still be beautiful when it’s rooted in choice.
Reclaiming Meaning: Less Noise, More Intention
The holidays have become a lot of noise. More pressure. More stuff. And so much of it isn’t necessary.
It’s not that I’m against shopping; I love sharing tools, ideas, and gifts when they help you think through what fits your life. But they’re meant to inspire, not dictate.
I have a real issue with mass consumerism — not just because it overshadows meaning, but because it creates unnecessary stress. It turns joy into a checklist, and it can make people feel like they're failing if they can't do it all.
The truth is, people need less. Less performing. Less keeping up. This is a tough economy, and we should all feel okay adjusting expectations.
A friend once told me she was shocked that in our Christmas morning photos there were so few gifts under the tree. I laughed; we’ve never been overly consumer-driven. Our kids get one or two things from Santa, one or two from us, and now they even exchange gifts with each other. Simple, and just the right energy for our crew.
And also, before anything new comes in, we clean out and donate. It’s our ritual of gratitude — a reminder that abundance feels better when it has room to breathe.
On Timing and Tradition
I grew up with my brother (ten years older than me) and his wife getting their tree the day after Thanksgiving, and that rhythm still feels right to me. So that’s usually when we do ours too.
But life isn’t always neat, and if we can’t get to it that weekend, we don’t beat ourselves up. The point isn’t the date; it’s being present for it.
I know some people like decorating earlier, and I get it. It’s a lot of work, and you want to enjoy it longer. But here’s where I draw the line: the people who spend weeks perfecting every garland and strand of lights, only to take it all down before Christmas Day. My head pops off every time I hear that. What’s the point if you can’t even enjoy the actual day?
I know they’ll say they’re ready for a “fresh start” or “a clean slate,” but come on — slow your roll. Not everything needs to be five steps ahead of the next holiday, no matter what Target’s aisles are screaming about Valentine’s Day.
Let each season have its moment. Thanksgiving is gratitude and gathering. For us, Christmas is reflection and joy. Whatever holidays you celebrate — Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or your own family traditions — everything is beautiful in its time, but only if we let it be.
My Top 5 Non-Negotiables for the Holidays
Before things get too busy, I take about thirty minutes to write down my non-negotiables. It’s my way of setting intention — a mini “contract” with myself about what matters most.
Here are mine this year:
Decorating the tree as a family. Even if it gets pushed on the calendar. When we do it, it’s because we want to, not because we’re forcing it.
Not overspending. Staying grounded in what actually matters and what we can find use and joy in. Not accumulating stuff.
Cleaning out and donating before the holidays. If things come in, things must go out. It keeps the kids mindful and makes space for what’s next.
Christmas movie nights. One a week, no matter what else is going on — the room cozy and twinkly.
Letting the girls decorate their rooms. The twins really wanted their own little tree last year. They loved it and are most looking forward to it again. Agustín doesn’t care much, but they do… and that’s enough.
Setting the Christmas table. It connects me to my Mama Ina and my mom, who both lived for creating beauty for their family. My mom has dementia now, but when she walks into my house and sees the table set, her whole face lights up — she may not remember every detail, but she still recognizes what’s beautiful. That table is love made visible.
The Feeling of Home
The feeling of home during the holidays has nothing to do with perfection. It’s about returning to your center — to what still feels sacred, no matter what’s happened. It’s about knowing yourself enough to say, this matters, this doesn’t, and being grateful that you get to choose.
As my kids grow, what they want changes. We’ve moved from toys to experiences, and I’m constantly adjusting. But one tradition that still fills me is our family Christmas card. I’ve done them for years — rarely professional photos, sometimes just candid shots. People ask how I do it “with everything going on,” but honestly, I love it. It’s my way of documenting, of honoring our life as it is right now.
That’s what I mean by curating…It’s not about doing everything; it’s about shaping what matters. Curating moments, not just rooms.
✨ Curating a home and life, little by little — especially in the seasons that ask the most of us — that’s where I keep finding my peace.
The Practical Side: Making Room for Ease
The logistics matter. A little planning early can mean a much smoother season later. This year, I’m giving myself permission to move at a realistic pace — to clean, prepare, and decorate when I can. It’s a goal, not a deadline.
Planning: I start jotting down everything early — from school events to grocery lists. Seeing it all on paper helps me catch what’s too much. Even just blocking one night for shopping or one afternoon for wrapping keeps me from feeling like I’m living in a rush.
Guests: I love having guests feel cared for, but also free. Small touches go a long way — a coffee maker in their room, snacks, water bottles, an extra blanket. A few comforts that let them move at their own pace.
Outsourcing: Outsourcing doesn’t have to mean hiring a team. It can be picking up desserts instead of baking from scratch, or skipping homemade wrapping for gift bags. If outdoor lights always turn into an argument, hire it out. The goal isn’t to prove you can do it all; it’s to actually enjoy your space — and your people — in it.
Food and Rhythm: I try to simplify our meals during December. One big grocery run per week, and a few reliable go-tos that keep everyone happy. The goal is to eat well, not perform. Some years that’s lasagna and paper plates, and that’s perfectly fine. I even keep a “backup dinner” — frozen ravioli or soup — for the nights that just get away from us.
Simple Joys on Hand: I like to have things ready for when the mood strikes — hot-chocolate supplies, s’mores fixings, all the ingredients for chocolate-chip and Christmas cookies, and always popcorn for movie nights. And scent — always scent. I love the glow of a candle, but I’m really an essential-oils girl at heart. Diffusing Young Living blends has become part of our rhythm at home; Christmas Spirit and Winter Night make everything smell grounded, bright, and alive with memory.
Resetting the Space: When things start to feel full, I clear a small spot — a counter, a corner, even just my nightstand. Light a candle, breathe. It’s a tiny way to bring calm back into the day. And who doesn’t love leaving just the sparkle lights on from the tree or mantle? That flicker feels like peace.
Family Calendar: We keep one shared calendar so everyone knows what’s coming. It cuts down on the last-minute chaos, and the kids like helping. Even small tasks — labeling gifts, setting the table — give them ownership and make the season feel shared.
Holiday Cards: For cards, I keep an Excel spreadsheet with addresses so I can mail merge and print labels. It makes the process smoother — and good for the kids to help with. Some websites even pre-print addresses for you, which is worth it if it helps you actually get them out. I also add the kids’ ages in parentheses after their names in our signature — Santiago (16), Agustín (12), Camila & Valentina (10) — and people love it; it’s become one of those small details that quietly says, “I care.”
✨ These small rhythms serve as gentle guardrails that let home still feel like home.
Tools & Intentions
If you want to take thirty minutes before the season starts, I created a free Holiday Intention Guide — a quiet way to map your top five non-negotiables, what you want to feel, and what you’re ready to let go of.
✨ FREE Printable Holiday Intention Guide
A gentle printable guide to help you set what really matters this season — your top 5 non-negotiables, what you want to feel, and what you’re ready to let go of.
⬇️ Download the GuideAnd if you’re looking for a few tools to make things easier, I linked the Elf kit I’ve used, a simple cardstock pack for gratitude projects, and an amazing organization helper for wrapping and storage. Only if they fit your flow. None of this is about doing more. It’s about finding what helps you feel calm, connected, and present. And letting that be enough.
If you’re curious about the essential oils I use, I get them through Young Living — I’m a distributor mainly for my own discounts, but you’re welcome to reach out if you’d like my link
Curated Living isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. The holidays remind me that beauty lives in the care we give — to our homes, our people, and ourselves.
Wishing You A Season That Feels Like Home — However That Looks For You. May It Be Filled With What Truly Matters, And The Space To Let Go Of What Doesn’t.
